12 Dumb Reasons for Breaking up with Him

You don’t have to tell her that you are tired and want to end things between the two of you, that will only make him pester you even more. Actions speak louder than words but some words are more effective than actions. Here are dumb reasons to give him hoping he reads the signs:

  1. Announce that you slept with his dad – Confess that his dad is just like him within and without the sheets but a little more patient and caring. If he is man enough, he will disappear into thin air.
  2. Compare his dog to the neighbors – Tell him how your neighbor has such a big dog and boy, it bites real hard. If he laughs at this comparison instead of being mad and driving off in a huff, he belongs to a mental asylum.
  3. Tell him you are carrying the delivery boy’s child – If he doesn’t see a child in your arms, he will discover what exactly you are talking about. If he still too blank, tell him you are pregnant and the father wants to marry you!
  4. Say your boss just asked you to move in with him – If your boss wants you to move in with him, it means you have much more than a good working relationship!
  5. Tell him you love his sister or mother – What this means is that you have just discovered you are lesbian or bisexual at most and that you find his mother more handsome than he is. Huh?
  6. Post an advert – Advertise for a spouse on radio or in the local dailies and appoint him to the panel because he knows you better than everyone else.        You can put a small one in the lonely hearts column and ask him to pay for it.
  7. Tell him your ex lost his job – He needs to be told that your ex is either sick or lost his job and needs your support. If he allows you to go help him but on condition that you come back when he feels better, know that he lost his mind.
  8. Ask him if his small dog can father a child – Men hate being hit below the best and cant take an insult directed at their dog, whether it barks or not. If he finds that funny, he should be a mental case.
  9. Tell him you are relocating – Tell him of your intentions to move to another city and when he calls to ask how you are doing, ask him for his name and calmly say, wrong number. You get the point.
  10. Your pastor made those night vigils daily – You can announce that your pastor just changed the night vigils at the church from a weekly thing to a daily event for women only.
  11. Move in with four of your friends – Whether you stay alone or with him, insist that your friends want to stay with you and proceed to allow them to share your bed and everything else.
  12. Tell him you are dead – You can give some male colleague to pose as one of your relatives and break the ‘sad’ news to him. Tell him not to worry because you are better off in heaven.

Disclaimer: This is entertainment but the hazards are real.

About Shilaho 80 Articles
Born in Kakamega, Kenya, Shilaho Wa Muteshi is a published author, a biochemist and reproductive health consultant based in the city of Nairobi. He has more than ten years experience in teaching Public Health, Disease Epidemiology, Chemistry, Biochemistry, Maternal Child Health and Family Planning, HIV and Aids and many others at College and Undergraduate level. He has also managed various tertiary institutions in Kenya and also runs Smartpen Consultants. He has published two major novels, The Aids Ward, and Remains of Dead Hope. The Aids Ward is based on Dr. Mlachi who must beat a supernatural deadline by finding a cure for Aids before his brother dies. Remains of Dead Hope, depicts the fight of a people against tyranny. The two books are available worldwide via amazon.com, Google's goodreads.com and other major booksellers and stockists. Welcome to your favorite author's blog.

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